What a year 2011 was. Looking back on the year, I maybe took on a bit more than I could chew. Lets take a second to recap.
1) January 26th-our beautiful Miles was born. What a blessing he has been to our family. Plus he makes me look a lot better in the fact that I have now created two handsome gentlemen. Must be in the genes!
2) We bought a house. No, seriously. We signed away all of our money for the next 30 years and provided shelter. We became commuters, small town people. People who attend small high school basketball games and bake cakes for raffles.
3) We bought a car. The van that my parents blessed us with was nice and so helpful, but I wanted something that was mine. Something that has my name on it. I wanted to provide a safe and comfortable commute for my wife and children. It’s a nice car, but now that I see the average person that drives a similar car-I feel old.
4) I went back to school. I successfully passed two spanish courses. That’s two steps closer to graduation. I wish this monkey was off my back, but due to scheduling, it looks like mr. monkey will be riding me for a while longer. (that’s what she said.)
5) Jenny went back to work. She accepted a job working 15-20 hours at Milkworks. It’s a great organization that provides help to moms. And the best part of her job, all of our income is coming from non-profits. That’s a great feeling.
I’ll spare you the rest of the boring stuff, but those four things take a lot of energy. Way too much in fact. I wore myself extremely thin. Even now that things are slowing down, my gears are still running at full speed. We are potty training Jack for the second time. While I’m not doing most of it because I’m at work from 8-5, I still take on a lot of it on the weekend while Jenny is at work. Miles is also cutting teeth and on the verge of walking. It’s a full household. It’s a busy household.
My problem is that no matter how much I bitch about being tired and worn down, I crave things to do. My body doesn’t rest unless it’s occupied. Like now, instead of sitting at the coffee house and listening to music, I’m spewing words that in the grand scheme of things, don’t matter all that much. Now I am drinking coffee and listening to music, but I’m editing, rewriting, twisting my brain over whether or not this blog is worth posting. I can’t relax. Maybe it’s the coffee.
I am so thankful for the five things I posted above. We were blessed last year. I hope the blessings continue this year. I’d be ok with a boring year. Maybe a family vacation. Maybe a vacation with just my wife. Maybe no vacation at all. But I most of all I pray for a year that keeps us healthy and comfortable. No matter how tired I get, I want to devote more time playing, showing my boys how to be boys. Teaching them how to get dirty, to scrape their knees and elbows by rough housing. I want to love my wife, and not in the corny Hallmark ways, but in a way that at the end of the day, she feels as if she is overflowing.
Here is my short list of goals for 2012.
1) Lose 40 pounds. I would love to get in shape so I’m not such a couch dad. I want to be active, to have energy to throw my boys around. I can’t do that if I’m a blob of shitty mess.
2)Climb a 14’er. 2 years ago, our good friends Tyler and Amber as well as my wife and I hiked mountains and slid down glaciers. I’d like the feeling of accomplishment again. It’s not restful, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do.
3) Save money. 2011 was maybe the most stressful financial year for us. We didn’t do ourselves any favors. Now that we know where our money will go, it will be easier to save some.
4) Learn how to do yardwork.
5) Love. 2011 was a year that I didn’t do enough to build relationships. I need to learn to forgive, to move on and to love. Friendships for married couples seem to be short on the supply side. I want more friends. I want more guy time, I want Jenny to have more girl time. But none of that will happen unless we love our neighbor. Literally.
If you’ve hung on this long, thank you. I’ve had a lot of stress on my chest lately and it feels good to purge. I pray that 2012 is a year that blesses each of you abundantly. And if you feel so inclined, join us for coffee. Have dinner with us. Bring your kids over and have a sleep over. In 2012 and beyond, my door is open to you. Please come in.