This is your life…

I’m 30…….Now what?

Those are the words that have been floating through my head for the last 24 hours.  I always looked at 30 years old as this mystical number that when I reached it, I’d be almost Einsteinesque. I’d be this brilliant, smart, and very respectable old man.  That’s where the problem lies.

I’m unfortunately none of the things that I mentioned above.  In fact, I currently have no idea who I am.  Is this a mid-life crisis?  I don’t think so. But I also don’t think I have defined myself as a person, nor have I accomplished any career goals that the 18 year old Nick thought I was going to have accomplished.

It all comes down to identity. Who am I?

Here’s what I have so far:

1) I am the father of two handsome, fiery redheaded boys.

2) I am the husband to the prettiest girl this side of the International Date Line

3) I am addicted to football/baseball/music/Call of Duty (Modern Warfare 3 in 2 weeks!!)

4) I am a Technical Support Rep at the University of Nebraska Foundation

That’s about it.  Is that enough?  It should be.  I shouldn’t be so selfish with my life. I have a great life. But I ache for more.  I want to be a great example to my boys.  I want to be a great handyman. I want to be rich and I want to be in better shape.  I want more friends (the reality after having children is that the number of friends has shrunk. Sad, but true. The friends we do have that want to hang with us are amazing and I wouldn’t trade them for anything, but more friends would be nice too.) That’s not all I want to be…but that’s a good start.

But maybe the thing I want most from anything is respect.

I feel that since I was a kid was that I was always the funny guy.  I would always be able to crack jokes and if people needed a good laugh, they’d know where to go.  But I traded that characteristic for the ability to be taken seriously, not only in my personal life but also in my career.  I’ve hit the time now where I’d trade being the funny guy to the guy who would like to be taken a little more seriously.

How do I do that? How do I slowly peel a few layers of the stereotype that I have created for myself and turn that into respect?

I really wish I knew the answer to those questions.  I want to make this clear.  I don’t want to change who I am. I want my core to always be the person I am now.

I guess all I really want is a vision, a clear path and I want to get walking in that direction.

This is my life. I’m very happy with it, but am I who I want to be?

Are you the person you thought you’d be at 18?

Switchfoot-This is your life

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now
Yeah, and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be
This is your life are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose

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