it’s been since october 12th that i left my family for 5 days for work. that week was quite possibly one of the worst weeks i’ve ever had so the break from travelling was nice. this past week wasn’t too bad but anytime i’m away from my family, it stinks.
now before anybody gets the wrong impression-i just want you to know that things weren’t bad with us (omg…just saw Suh’s first commercial for gary michaels clothiers…big time—-sorry saw something shiny) but when i left last monday morning-i had a feeling like me going on this trip was for a reason bigger than work. putting jack down last sunday night was one of the hardest things i’ve had to do in a while. he normally just lays down, giggles, and falls asleep quickly. this time-he kept standing up and wanting me to hold him. that tore me apart. i dont know if he could sense that daddy wasnt’ going to be around for a few days-but regardless, it was so hard to go. i at least got to kiss my wife one last time before i drove to the airport.
i was honestly too busy with work for the majority of the week that i didn’t get to think about family too much. it’s bittersweet because i don’t get a lot of time to chat with them but the week also flies by.
but when i returned….something was different. there was a spark with jenny that hadn’t flickered the way it did for a long time. i feel like we were guilty of getting into the routine of being parents and working people that we get stuck in a rut. it felt so good to hold her in my arms when i got home….and honestly-the big difference, is that i felt like God had a huge part in this. there was a deeper reason for me to go to small town texas and i believe it was to get the spark back in our marriage. i feel different about my wife now then i did when i left…i feel like newlyweds again. my dreams for our family has returned and my baby’s laughs can bring me to tears instantly now. my life, my marriage, my son’s future…they feel like they all have a new hope and i’m excited to spend every single second i can with them….and returning from texas, my heart absolutely can not feel more full. I’m thanking God today-with all I am-for taking me away for 5 days-to let me return as a better man/husband/father.
Tenth Avenue North-By Your Side
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go