Tune my heart to sing Thy grace

i dont remember having as rough of a week that myself and my family have had.  two family deaths and the death of a great family friend all within the matter of two weeks.  the travel, the anxiety, the heartbreak, the physical and emotional drain…..this was a horrible couple of weeks.  my dad’s aunt shirley passes a couple of weeks ago, my dad’s sister (my aunt) Carolyn passed away on tuesday morning, and my friend Jason Gomez passed the next day.  Unfortunately we were unable to make his funeral due to being in Sioux Falls for Carolyn’s.  not being able to say goodbye to my friend was heartbreaking….How I will miss him dearly.

At times during the past week, it was so easy for me to take my tired spirit and dwell on the pain, slack on being a husband and a dad, and wait for everything to subside.  I do wish that I had more energy to put into my family but it was tough.  If I could wave a magic wand and go back and lean on my wife for emotional support instead of just taking a week off, i would do it in a second.  She was overly supportive of me and my family and I do appreciate her being there for me….she’s my rock.

Having Jack in sioux falls with my family I think was probably the highlight for them.  It was so warming to see Jack calmly sitting in his grandpa’s lap during the reception following his sisters funeral.  To see the smile on my dad’s face in what was quite possibly the hardest thing he’s had to do was inspiring.  to see the joy that that my lil man can bring to his family’s face was a memory that i will never forget.

a new week is approaching and life is about to resume as regularly scheduled.  But how will I respond.  How will I take the unexpected death of a family member and the lifelong legacy left behind by my friend into account and grow from this?  how will I honor them in my everyday life?  While at the reception, I met Aunt Carolyn’s mentee, Jamie, who was living in a foster home after her parents passed away. Carolyn mentored her for 7 years and it showed in her eyes.  To spend 30 minutes joking and playing with her was something that I will never forget.  That is why tomorrow I will sign up to be a mentor in the TeamMates mentoring program here in Lincoln.  Carolyn-I hope that I can be the inspiration to a child that you were to Jamie.

Life is short, life is precious, it’s melodious, beautiful, and joyous.  Now is the time to surrender, surrender this selfish life that I’m living-to completely hand over the reigns to God and as Carrie Underwood would sing “jesus take the wheel.” (sorry for that cheesy reference) I need something to happen-something that will force me to hand it over to Jesus and never look back.  Maybe I’ll see that this week. Maybe thi s week-God will tune my heart to forever sing thy Grace.

Come Thou Fount-

Come Thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I’ll praise the mount I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above

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