there have been many times in my life when i look at life and wonder where it’s taking me. i think about where life is now and i would have never anticipated being where i am. my son is the best thing to happen to me….he’s keeping alive my bloodline if you will. i know that for at least the first century of the new millenium, the maestas name will continue and that makes me proud. of course a little girl would bring muchos joy to my heart as well…but having a boy is every mans dream. my little man is growing up so much and everyday he becomes a little more independent that the day before. at times i am sad because i think back to when it was just me and jack, 3am, rocking in the chair singing, cooing, until sleep comes to us. now, i can’t hold him the way i used to and i definitely can’t rock him to sleep anymore. but he’s doing new things that make my heart warm…he walks up and gives me a kiss, he shakes my hand, he runs away from me when trying to change his diaper. he is the coolest man i know and he’s one of few men who i have been able to say i love you to. i hope that for a long time, i will be relevant in his life.
I worry about that a lot, purpose and who I am in life…what role do I play in my own story. When people look at the life of Nick Maestas on my dying day, who will they see? Will they see someone who did the minimum to get by in life, was good for a laugh or two, didn’t completely ruin my families life….or will they see superman/optimus prime? Someone who they look at in his casket and say…today a giant fell. What difference will I have made not only in the life of my family and friends, but in the world as a whole? this isn’t a pity party-but a rude awakening.
Today I heard that my dad’s sister suffered a form of cardiac arrest and her timeline may be shorter than longer. She’s 51 years old. if my day comes to meet my Maker and I’m only 51 years old-that’s a mere 23 years from now…not very long. I pray she finds a way to go into overtime.
When I’m an old man, and Jack is having a family of his own…i want to know that i was some sort of influence, his hero, his mentor, and most of all…his best friend. If I can accomplish that, I would hope that my dying day would be remembered by many as a day of celebration and not the average man. i hope that Jack finds pride in his bloodline.
She was a girl living in the city cleaning the old religion
Praying for electricity to keep her warm for a little while
Nobody made her wise to the things a girl might find
In a belly of a hungry man who don’t care nothing about his bloodline
She got lost in his bloodline
Heavy cost of a bloodline
She goes on she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
So much riding on a bloodline
Why is he hiding from the bloodline?
It aint right she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
She heard heaven is invite only preserved for Christian soldiers
Not on wet girls living in the city asking for change from strangers
But father said Jesus loves her even though she never married
God loves her more than the Christians did she’s part of his holy bloodline
She got saved in her bloodline
The price he paid for the bloodline
Chased alive she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
She believes in his bloodline
Lives and breathes by the bloodline
With all her might she cries at night and keeps alive his bloodline
I know I should have never left her a shoulder of a burnt eye
She probably won’t forgive me god might not even
I made a cross and laid it on her back
But I never broke her spirit and she owes that to her bloodline
She stood strong for the bloodline I did wrong by the bloodline
But she went on she cried at night and kept alive her bloodline
Sacrifice for the bloodline paid the price for the bloodline
For all her life she cried at night and kept alive her bloodline
Ohhhhhhhhhh she cried at night and kept alive her bloodline ooooooooooooo